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Hello and welcome to my stop on the blog tour for “We Have Lost the Coffee” by Paul Mathews, I am so thrilled to be able to share a fun post about a life in the day of the main character, Howie Pond.

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London, 2045. Three months into the Coffee Wars and Britain’s caffeine supplies are at critical levels. Brits are drinking even more tea than usual, keeping a stiff upper lip and praying for an end to it all.

A secret Government coffee stockpile could save the day … but then mysteriously disappears overnight.

One man is asked to unravel the missing-coffee mystery. His name is Pond. Howie Pond. And he’s in desperate need of a triple espresso. Meanwhile, his journalist wife, Britt, is hunting royal fugitive Emma Windsor on the streets of the capital.

Can Howie save the British Republic from caffeine-starved chaos? Will the runaway royal be found? And just what will desperate coffee drinkers do for their next caffeine fix? Find out, in Paul Mathews’ latest comedy-thriller set in the Britain of the future…

‘We Have Lost The Coffee’ is packed with dry British humour, political satire, dozens of comedy characters and enough coffee jokes to keep you awake all night. It’s full of crazy action and adventure in London, and beyond, and is guaranteed to set your pulse racing faster than a quadruple espresso.

So, join Howie, Britt and friends – as well as some enemies – as you travel forward in time to 2040s London.

You can buy a copy via Amazon now!


A Day in The Life of Howie Pond

Where do they go?

Monday to Friday, Howie Pond heads for Buckingham Palace – the new centre of government in London, 2044 – where he works as the president’s spokesperson. After ploughing through a mountain of e-comms, he’ll often take a lunchtime trip to the Two Chairmen pub in St James’ Park (a real pub where his creator often sneaked off at lunchtimes, when working nearby as a real-life civil servant). This often involves alcohol and meat pies. At the end of the day, Howie heads home on the Metro to his pod in Battersea where there is always a hungry cat waiting for him.

At the weekend, he might go to Craven Cottage football stadium and cheer on Fulham. Or head to a top restaurant with his wife, Britt, so he can treat his stomach to some non-junk food. Occasionally, he will pop to a casino and win at roulette – and yes, he always wins!

What do they do?

As well as his main job – which involves cleaning up the media mess left by the president and being as unhelpful as possible to journalists – Howie is also a part-time secret agent. In each of the ‘We Have Lost’ books, he is asked to investigate a mysterious disappearance – in the most recent story, it’s the nation’s emergency caffeine stockpiles. This involves asking lots of questions and, in a lot of cases, not getting very many answers.

Who are they with?

When he’s not at home with his wife (fellow main character Britt), Howie has to run around after a celebrity-turned-politician president, as well as fifty other vice presidents, which involves spending a lot more time with them than he really wants. In addition, he has to manage the Buckingham Palace press office and report regularly to his secret service boss, Martha Blake. He also meets a host of weird and wonderful characters during his secret agent adventures. So it’s fair to say, he gets around a bit.

What do they think? Feel?

Howie is so super-mega busy all the time, he often tries to wish himself into another dimension. So far, this hasn’t worked. But he’s not giving up just yet.

A lot of the time, Howie thinks about food and coffee. And, while he is happy to be following in the footsteps of his hero James Bond, this rather gets in the way of his mealtimes. His normal morning pick-me-up is a triple espresso and possibly a doughnut if there are any lying around his office. His favourite pub lunch is steak-and-ale pie with mash and mushy peas and he’ll usually wash that down with a pint (or half-litre, now that imperial measurements are banned) of Guinness. Dinner could be anything – as long as it’s not a salad.

Why are they doing whatever it is they are doing?

That’s a question Howie often asks himself. He doesn’t always have an answer.

 

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